Free Ebook Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
Free Ebook Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
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Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
Free Ebook Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
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Product details
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 15 hours and 10 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Audible.com Release Date: February 13, 2012
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B007A2VOHE
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
This is the number one book I'd recommend to those who have faced betrayal through an affair. There is so much info on betrayal through sex addictions and porn, but this book addresses the "love affair" and those that come out of friendships. It is comprehensive. It covers how to protect, how to recover, what to do, the other views. It has tons of situations and healing steps. It has assessments to see if you are in danger with attitudes and such. It has many examples of real couples and their struggles. It talks about situations that affect affairs of all varieties. When I recognized similar situations to my husband, I read it to him and he'd say "That's a real thing?" I think it helped him to know that his struggles and weaknesses that led to his choices are real and he's not a freak. It helped me to understand better to. Sometimes I needed to know more than that he's trying- That's a common thing with betrayal trauma and this book really helps with that. Definitely would recommend it. (I'm not P Stout)
Great book. If you have been cheated this book with help you feel your thoughts are not off the wall. My husband had a 2-1/2 year affair with co-worker. I felt alone, unattractive, part to blame, untrusting. Guess what , these are all normal feelings. This book along with seeing a therapist is helping learn to pick up the pieces. If you are going though this horrible betrayal, I hope you heal soon.
TL;DR version: If you have been through a cheating event, just buy this book!If you are reading this in desperate need of help/hope because you recently found out your spouse cheated on you, first I want to say that I am so sorry this has happened to you. I've been through that chaotic, confusing and scary couple of days after the "discovery" and I truly empathize with your situation. Especially those of you who have no support to help you deal (close friends, family, etc that you could tell in confidence). The good news is, you have found the right book, and it will help you through this time.This book probably saved my marriage. After I discovered my wife had been in an emotional relationship with an ex for the previous two years, I was almost in physical shock I think. Certainly emotional shock/trauma, for many months.I will never forget that gut-punching feeling of betrayal when I found out, but to say this book helped me is a massive understatement. It saved my sanity, and helped both of us cope with what I suspect is normally a marriage-ending affair.We both read it at the same time, then I re-read it, made copious notes, and discussed each of them in detail with wife.Then I read it again. And maybe one more time. Obviously, the book "spoke" to me at a time when I was at a loss as to what to do next, or how to move forward. It was an emotional security blanket for me, and I am NOT an emotional person (quite the opposite). Looking back, I was almost obsessing over "The Book" and I am sure my wife did not share that...enthusiasm about it (but to be fair, she was on the other side, and the book explains how the offender and the offended typically react differently, and why).Had we acted on my initial instinct to go see a marriage counselor (well actually my FIRST instinct was to call a divorce lawyer), I think that would have failed. Or at least would have had a high chance of failing. That might have worked if we had access to a top marriage counselor, or someone with even a bit of Glass' experience or resume, but most of us don't have that. And if you don't have access to that kind of expert, IMO, you're likely better off NOT going to a "local yokel" who means well, but with this very difficult and complicated issue, can really make things worse. Glass mentions this in the book as well, about how much misinformation about the topic is out there, is espoused by therapists, is written up in mags and newspapers, and treated as "best practices" for these situations).If something like this has just happened to you (particularly if you are on the receiving end of your spouse's cheating), just trust me, read this book. It will help, and if you respond as I did, it will actually help you heal and act as a "pain reliever" while you heal. It will not be a "good read" or "enjoyable" or any other similarly silly description of this book that I saw in other reviews. It will be HORRIBLE, because it's going to open up every detail and some hard truths that you probably don't want to read.But it will be necessary IF you want to try and save your marriage (BOTH of you, sincerely, not just one, or one saying they do because they fear the consequences of not saying they do).It will even be brutal, because Glass can be very direct, and doesn't candy coat the reality of the situation. She reminds me of a tough, but beloved coach from high school. For instance, she suggests if X and Y happen, or has happened, and Z is true, then moving forward as a married couple will probably not work, and you need to look at "exit" options. Even if that is the ultimate outcome, or the suggested path, she walks you through that as well, in the least damaging way possible.Even though the book was written by an older woman, I find the style, vocabulary and even thought processes, to be very much relevant for current times (I saw another review dinging the book for being anachronistic). In fact, the thinking and even style is so NOT dated, I was surprised after reading the book, to find out that the author had been dead for more than a decade!Glass obviously placed a lot of faith in science and data (I love that), since she herself did many clinical trials and used data from other scientific studies on infidelity to back up her assertions and advice. But as expert and clinical as she is on the subject, her tone and demeanor come across as a sincerely caring, but very professional doctor.Sadly (maybe), two and a half years after my "Event", I still think of this book, and have an urge to re-read it, or at least look at my highlighted sections. These moments occur less frequently as time goes on, and they are short-lived, thankfully (and to date have not actually gone back to read it, just the feeling of needing/wanting to, in dark/bad moments).I have no idea what Glass would think of that, but I can say that I am still married, and as a result of much of the advice (both do's and dont's) which we followed during those dark days, I think we both handled it as well as it could be given the circumstances, and to the extent possible, healed the gaping wound in our marriage.Maybe like grieving the death of a loved one, there is no 'fix' or solution to an infidelity event - there's just trying to cope in as healthy a way as possible, with the hope that one day the pain will diminish. Given the difficulty, complexity, and variability of this topic, Glass covers most if not all bases as a fantastic guide for BOTH spouses through this event, and probably comes as close to a 'solution' as possible.
This book is absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it for ALL relationships, whether someone has been unfaithful or not. I have been married for almost 6 years and recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful for the past year of our marriage. It felt like somebody literally pulled a rug out from under me and I hit the floor with a thud. All of my friends of course said I should pack up my stuff and leave. Friends and family may mean well, but most of them don't have the slightest clue on what to do when it comes to relationships. I bought this book and one other in search of answers and guidance.The book really opened my eyes to what all is involved when an affair happens, and it also shows that affairs can happen in good marriages if safeguards are not followed to protect the marriage. My attention was immediately hooked after the first quiz in the book which was created to let people know if the person they say is "just a friend" really is just that. I can honestly say after reading this book I have realized that even though I never physically cheated on my wife, I came close to having an emotional affair at one point. What I also liked about this book is that most books that deal with affairs always seem to be focused around the husband being the cheater. The author shared not only about female infidelity, but also research that backed up the different reasons for why males and females cheat.The book wants you to ask the question "Is your spouse genuinely a dishonest person, or were they dishonest because of the affair?" There was also an excellent point made that you should NEVER discuss any problems in your relationship with someone who could potentially be a replacement for your partner. Only discuss problems with someone of the opposite sex if they are a "FRIEND of the marriage" and wants to see your marriage work. The author also provides an excellent strategy using "walls and windows" and the best ways to protect your marriage. This book not only saved my marriage but also saved my sanity as well. It is a MUST READ!
This has helped me a lot. I’m not quite finished reading it, but when I discovered my husband had an affair, this was my coping mechanism. Any time I was struggling and in a bad place, reading this and understanding his side of it somehow helped calm me down. It’s very informative and fact based but isn’t boring at all. I would definitely recommend this to people trying to recover and fix their marriage after infidelity.
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